Ok, this is the time to write something as the last footprint in this year. I look back all year and I feel sad and my heart beating being grievous. All year long I thought my day was dark. I was dead inside. I have no success work. I have no book to release. Yes, this year is not the best year, even not a good year to me, too much anger and tears. Months, I feel paralyzed. I did nothing. I couldn’t… just I couldn’t. I want to write something but I couldn’t… I got paralyzed. Those months was scary me.
My biggest disappointment in 2011 is failed to produce When Trees Fall movie. As a producer and Public Relation for this movie, I have put a lot of effort and thoughts to make it happen, but it flopped. The Investor told us that he will release all of budget on January 2011, and it’s just BULLSHIT. Nothing happened at that month, also at following months. He’s gone, vanished. This is a precious lesson. Don’t make a deal with someone who said Lucifer is a good angel. Pffftt…. You just can’t grasp his promises. I knew it in first time, but I was still clinging for hope that he gave.
This failure was affect to all of my works. I got stress and frustration even – maybe people near me didn’t realize it. I was covering it with my normal behavior, but I know I was easily to get angry. I hope I can relinquish all this stress only in this year. I really wanna entering 2012 with new spirit, new life and new dream.
Two months ago, I had made a deal with two friends to establish our own publisher to publish my book and others who meet with our conditions. Yes, we established a publisher company. I have a huge hope for this company. May God bless our company. So, in the beginning of 2012 we will publish my second novel, Anya – Dunia Paralel.
Also in this year I wrote several screenplays for movie and TV serial, but STILL piled in my storage. May be someday I have a chance to offer it to movie and TV serial producer.
I always thought that I need at least a year to write 1 book / novel. What a surprise, I wrote a novel in 3 weeks. This is A RECORD. And I really startled with this work. It was happen this month. Make me happy, tho…
To end this year I got like good news which is some producer want to talk to me to discuss about the movie. I hope 2012 is the YEAR to shooting When Trees Fall. Yes, I have schedule to meet them in January. Can’t wait.
And now I brave to face 2012 with dignity. I don’t want to make a list of resolution. I just want to live a life on my own track. And of course wrote more books and screenplay in English. This is my goal.
The last is I hope someday I may have a hut in the middle of paddy rice field at Ubud Bali. YESSSS I want it deadly.
Goodbye 2011, even gloomy I still have good memories with you. And Welcome 2012! I wish you good to me.
Jakarta, Dec 31, 2011; 21:44